I've learned my lesson. But...
It took all this time to realize...
INSIDE: how I tried to ignore the larger problem, how I landed what I thought would be my dream job, and finally accepting I needed to make a change.
And in case you missed it…
Last week, I introduced my new personal assistant,
, who’s now helping me with everything Yarn Bay.One of the things he’s doing now is ensuring the best of all the questions you send in come to my attention.
So, if you have a question you’d like me to answer here on Fiber Friday, or you need help, please email Zachary Kai at support@yarnbay.org.
The first question I’m answering that many people asked, including
, was, as she put it:“Some day I’d love to know more about the places you’ve lived!
I believe I’ve gathered Thailand, Spain, and Australia thus far. What brought you to those places?”
Last week in Part One, I told you about how I wanted to be a secondary school teacher and did everything I could to get the job.
Despite completing my Graduate Diploma in Secondary Education, and getting a Food Technology position at a high school...
It wasn’t all I’d hoped for.
Frustrated Teacher Quits In Disgust, Sells The Farm, Moves The Family Halfway Across The World And… Starts Knitting
Part Two
It all came to a head when I was struggling to get the class’ attention. Nothing worked.
So I grabbed a frying pan and a wooden spoon, banging loudly.
The sound echoed through the classroom.
And… did it get their attention? Of course not! Another teacher had to interrupt her own class to get my students to settle down. Not my finest moment!
After a stern talking-to from my supervisor about still not having control of my classes… I tried personal development, counseling, courses, and self-talk…
Still, my management of difficult classroom behavior left a lot to be desired.
I was told I needed to ‘toughen up.’ I had to become mean and strict.
But that wasn’t me! It went against my deep sense of being a kind, friendly, warm-hearted nurturer.
It was hard not to take the students’ difficult behavior as personal.
Other teachers in the school didn’t seem to experience the problems I had with the same students. I gave myself a hard time about not being good enough.
There were many moments when I thought, I just can’t do this!
I had my second child and returned to the job when he was two. My teaching had improved, but I continued to find classroom management difficult.
My passion for cooking and passing on the skills my beloved Mama (grandmother) taught me were the only things that got me through.
Did I get the message it was time to move to a different career? No!
I thought primary school would be so much better, and I’d be more able to manage younger students. (Little did I know…)
So... I started looking for a new teaching job, swearing it’d be different.
A Kitchen Specialist job (part of the Stephanie Alexander Kitchen Garden Program at a primary school, different to the one my kids went to) opened up.
The program teaches students to grow, harvest and cook veggies and fruits. They learn to cook recipes using the fresh produce then sit together at tables in a dining room to share the delicious meal.
I greatly admire Stephanie Alexander. I’d been a fan of hers for a long time! She’s a successful Australian restauranter and the author of many cookbooks.
She wrote my all-time favorite cookbook, The Cook’s Companion. My copy is filled with bookmarks and is worn from use.
I’d even met her during my Hospitality undergraduate course. I had the honor of introducing her to the other students at a speech she gave us about what it meant to be in the Hospitality industry.
I knew I was the perfect candidate for the Kitchen Specialist position. 😊
So… I wrote the best application letter of my life!
When they granted me an interview, I did everything I could to prepare.
Our living area became a makeshift interviewer’s office, with the coffee table covered in notes. My husband helped me practice until I could answer every question he threw at me with ease.
I went into that interview as my best self, despite the stern three-person panel and my thumping heart. I knew I was a shoo-in!
When the Principal called a week later…
I saw my bright future ahead: me, the smiling, caring guide to the wonderful world of cooking, inspiring awe and teaching lifelong skills to happy students.
But... I didn’t get the job. They’d chosen someone else.
What now?
But... that wasn’t the end of it!
Miraculously (or unfortunately, 🤭), their first choice couldn’t take the job.
Of course, I said yes!
From day one, my resourcefulness shone. We started in a cramped classroom with no cooking facilities! (The kitchen was still under construction.)
I took in my grandmother-in-law’s electric portable stove (it still works to this day!), knives and cutting boards from my cupboards, and improvised recipes with the garden’s limited fresh produce.
Our first time using the wonderful kitchen and adjoining dining room in the refitted 150-year-old building was a momentous day!
It had four workspaces: each with a gas stovetop, electric oven, gleaming stainless-steel sinks, open cupboards, drawers, and laminated benches.
All my students and I had to do was… put together the flat pack tables and chairs for the dining room. Assembling them with help from teachers and volunteers was a lesson in perseverance!
Sunshine would fill the space, streaming in from the large windows. It was a beautiful place to work, and everyone loved it!
I fondly remember:
Working with our knowledgeable Gardening Specialist, a kind older man.
Parents, grandparents, relatives, and adult friends of the kids volunteered their time in the kitchen and garden classes. Their gentle guidance and care was wonderful to see, and we couldn’t have done it without them!
The kids delighted in learning to grow, cook, and taste new fruits and vegetables! Usually, we prepared five recipes and then the students, teachers and volunteers sat down together to share the delicious meal.
Foods which many students had never cooked or eaten before. The conversations at the table were so positive and affirming of the real change being made in the students’ lives.
Many had never experienced setting the table with cutlery, gathering flowers for the centerpiece, or indeed, sharing a meal at a table! At home, their normal dinner time routine was sitting on the couch watching TV with meals in their laps.
The garden grew an amazing variety of fruits, vegetables and herbs over the course of the 5 years I was there.
One memory that sticks out clearly in my mind is shelling baby broad beans. The students, volunteers and I picked loads of them off the abundant plants. We sat down on the grass in a circle with the sun warming our backs.
There's something so satisfying about discovering vibrant green baby beans inside a dull green pod. If you've ever experienced the bland, unpleasant taste of an overcooked broad bean with its unappealing gray color, you'll appreciate the sweetness and freshness of a baby broad bean!
In our kitchen class we prepared smashed broad beans with extra virgin olive oil, parmesan cheese, a little salt and pepper and served it on rustic bread we’d prepared, hot from the oven.
It was a food experience none of the students had ever had before, indeed many of the vegetarian recipes we cooked together were firsts.
It was so wonderful to witness the curiosity of young minds, their hesitance and then utter amazement that they actually loved the taste but were initially very skeptical that they would!
Another memorable time was when we preserved lemons.
The school garden lemon tree was abundant with fragrant fruit: the zest and juice full of lemony goodness.
You may think that was an odd choice for a recipe for kids… But the students were fascinated to learn you could preserve lemons with salt and eat the rind later! We made a Middle Eastern inspired couscous with coriander, currants (small, dried grapes) and the chopped lemon we’d preserved prior.
Our Gold-laced & Silver-laced Wyandotte chickens provided large brown eggs, the Silkie gave cream eggs, and Araucanas laid blue eggs. The kids’ amazement at the blue eggs was joyful. Collecting the eggs became one of the most sought-after jobs!
But... the same problems I faced in the Food Technology high school teaching job emerged. I still struggled with classroom management!
I woke up every day dreading the work ahead, exhausted from the previous day, knowing I had to face the same problems all over again.
After five years of this… I acknowledged I couldn’t do it any longer.
So... what was I supposed to do instead?
And another question for you: what’s a meal you made recently you enjoyed?
Press reply or leave a comment!
Before you go…
It sounds as if you didn't have support from colleagues (in either environments) to help you learn how to manage behaviours. Maybe that's just my perception. Nothing worse than waking up to dreading the day ahead ...
That must have been real tough times. Having your own young children to take care too. Teaching is undoubtedly a huge responsible job that isn't even compensated very well in so many places. I wish we had better systems and tools in place rather than just expecting the teacher to "toughen up".